BREAKING IRRELEVANT NEWS: Bruce and Kris Jenner have finally filed for divorce. Wait… weren’t they divorced, already? The couple ended their 22-year marriage yesterday after announcing their separation last year.
This is truly no surprise to us because, realistically, it was as if they were friends, anyway.
It seems there was no prenup, but there will be a property split and, of course, joint custody of Kylie, being that she’s under 18. It sounds like a dream divorce, but do we actually care?
Not really. The world has a love-hate relationship with the Kardashians, but no one gives a crap about the fact that Bruce and Kris are getting divorced.
Runs in the Family
From Kris Humphries and Kim to Khloe and Lamar, celebrity divorce is the norm and it’s ever-present in this family. Sure, the matriarch of the family should prove different, but that’s not always the case.
We all thought Kris and Bruce were split a while ago, as celebrity divorce happens almost every day. Realistically, the only divorce that would deem truly devastating would be that of Jay Z and Beyoncé or Brangelina.
This divorce comes as no surprise given the level of intimacy the couple seemed to evoke. With their lives being so high profile and busy, Kris clearly chooses fame and $pending time with Kim, rather than working on her marriage. Bruce was kind of a ball and chain, anyway.
It Wasn’t Messy
There’s no big, messy Hollywood divorce involved because B and K split on good terms. Joint custody, splitting property — oh, Bruce gets to keep all his earrings and jewelry. Where’s the messiness in that? It’s not juicy.
Now, if Bruce Jenner said he wanted sole custody of Kylie and all of Kris Jenner’s money so she could stop getting Botox… well, then, that would have been more entertaining to follow.
It was like they weren’t even married. For anyone who watches the show, Bruce basically lived on in Malibu, golfing and growing out his pony tail. Kris didn’t have any time for him. She was always with Kim or drinking wine.
For those who have watched all the seasons, you can probably count the amount of times they showed affection on one hand. Bruce was basically like her friend, another Jonathan Cheban lurking in the background.
Just Another Tabloid Cover
We’re so tired of seeing pictures of Kim K walking, Kylie filling up gas and Khloe covering her face coming out of a Range Rover, posted all over tabloids.
Months ago, we saw pics of Kris, too, and now we have to see them for the next two weeks? It’s getting a little overdone. The paparazzi constantly take the same pictures of the Kardashians and plaster them all over covers that end up our newsstands and block us from seeing relevant news.
I’m pretty sure Kris announced the split on TV to get media ratings and camera time; then, she tried to rip open the wound to stay relevant and increase views for Kourtney and Khloe’s new show. How Kreative of you, Kris.
They Probably Don’t Give A Sh*t, Either
Divorce usually affects families in a negative fashion, and emotions are heavy. The Kris and Bruce divorce probably doesn’t even have an effect on the Jenner/Karadashian clan.
Imagine the enthusiasm Kourtney produces — that’s probably as much of a reaction as they got. They’re all too concerned with their own lives to probably give two sh*ts that Kris and Bruce are just becoming friends — which they have been for basically the entirety of their split.
Kris and Bruce were living their own lives for a very long time. The most interaction they truly had was Kris telling Bruce he has to cut his hair for Kim’s wedding.
Kendall and Kylie act like they have some semblance of emotion, at least. They like, literally, care. Bible.
Photo Credit: WENN